When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
