Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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