Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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