Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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