And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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