Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!