I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just found puke in my bra..
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours