She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
