Taylor Swift is so right about you.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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