we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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