Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize