Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
When did angry sex become our thing?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
