I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
