It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
