if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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