The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize