You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
