I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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