We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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