There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
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Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK