Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"

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(401): So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection" http://tfl.nu/al1v

Replies (20) Good night (714) Bad night (5262)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.

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(803): I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway. http://tfl.nu/iohv

Replies (8) Good night (1618) Bad night (739) Order T-Shirt
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(360): View more from Washington

I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.

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(360): I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high. http://tfl.nu/uw52

Replies (12) Good night (3160) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?

(405): View more from Oklahoma

or abortion recommendation cards.

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(405): do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards? (405): or abortion recommendation cards. http://tfl.nu/knt8

Replies (17) Good night (1081) Bad night (3165)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me

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(508): the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me http://tfl.nu/ptyo

Replies (75) Good night (25634) Bad night (1425) Order T-Shirt
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(407): View more from Florida

he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around

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(407): he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around http://tfl.nu/8mq7

Replies (21) Good night (3519) Bad night (601) Order T-Shirt
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(206): View more from Washington

I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.

(1-206): View more from Washington

You are nothing if not reliable.

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(206): I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different. (1-206): You are nothing if not reliable. http://tfl.nu/5ioj

Replies (11) Good night (4784) Bad night (1363)
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(404): View more from Georgia

His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.

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(404): His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me. http://tfl.nu/ej9i

Replies (17) Good night (6454) Bad night (858)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.

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(479): Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless. http://tfl.nu/pb8t

Replies (6) Good night (1969) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt
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(916): View more from California

Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.

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(916): Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless. http://tfl.nu/cdoe

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(763): View more from Minnesota

It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language

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(763): It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language http://tfl.nu/6vub

Replies (4) Good night (1530) Bad night (926) Order T-Shirt
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(909): View more from California

I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..

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(909): I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise.. http://tfl.nu/c4kh

Replies (12) Good night (2024) Bad night (866)
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(636): View more from Missouri

In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.

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(636): In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something. http://tfl.nu/dpws

Replies (4) Good night (878) Bad night (244)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick

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(201): thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick http://tfl.nu/xnq8

Replies (9) Good night (1045) Bad night (309) Order T-Shirt
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(972): View more from Texas

I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.

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(972): I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight. http://tfl.nu/5kki

Replies (6) Good night (194) Bad night (650) Order T-Shirt

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