He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
