Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize