when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
