what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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