im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
