No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
