I wanna passion pit in your ass
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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