I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
