brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
did you just send me my own nude
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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