i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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