Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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