i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
