Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
