what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
