Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
