Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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