Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
we made out on top of his cat.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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