No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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