I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Randomize