Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
