i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
