Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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