Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I don't deserve a penis
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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