At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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