Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
