Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
