1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.