he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.