They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.