I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.