maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me