My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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