I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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