That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You were trust falling into bushes
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
