STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
