I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
