actually, I'm a sock model
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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