Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

My girlfriend figured out who you are.

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(563): View more from Iowa

I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death

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(631): View more from New York

i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night

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(952): View more from Minnesota

So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome

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(510): View more from California

well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.

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(217): View more from Illinois

This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours

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(630): View more from Illinois

Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>

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