We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm too high and old for this...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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